The Terrible New Job
by oldhollywoodbaby
Summary: The writers of the Alan Brady Show quit their job, but they get hired for a new job at the Gregory Stewart Show. Will it be the same for the writers or will it be any different? This is my second collab and theory with Fiddlegirl!


It was another day in the office. Rob was doing his push-ups, Buddy was laying down on the couch, and Sally was painting her nails.

"You know, fellows, we wrote a pretty good script yesterday!" Rob exclaimed.

"You're right, Rob! That was a really good script," Sally replied.

"I just hope Alan likes it," Rob said.

"That won't be easy! According to Curly, Alan expects laughs every few seconds!" Buddy exclaimed.

Just then, Mel came in the office, holding the script.

"Uh oh, this is not a good sign," Buddy added.

"Rob, I would just like to say that this script is terrible!" Mel exclaimed.

"I beg your pardon?" Rob asked.

"What's gotten into you guys? I mean, why on earth would you write about eating disorders? It's not even funny!" Mel exclaimed.

"Well, come on, Mel! It's national eating disorder awareness week! I think it'd be great that Alan is spreading awareness!" Sally replied.

"Alan doesn't want to do awarenesses, he just wants do comedy!" Mel told her.

"How about this, Mel, we can change little things in the script so it could be more funny," Sally suggested.

"Wanna know what I suggest? You scratch that whole script and start the whole thing all over again," Mel replied.

"Are you serious? We worked hard on that script!" Rob yelled.

"I'm sorry, you have to redo the whole thing," Mel apologized.

"This is messed up! I'm out of here!" Rob exclaimed as he was about to walk out of the office.

"So, you're just going to quit?" Mel asked.

"That's right! If he quits, we all quit!" Sally exclaimed.

"And you'll have to get yourself some new writers!" Buddy added as all three of them left the office leaving a shocked Mel.

At the house…

Laura was watching TV until she heard the door open and she saw Rob.

"Hello, Rob! How was your day at work?" she asked cheerfully, wrapping her arms around him.

"Hi, honey, my day was my last day," Rob replied.

Laura was shocked to hear this news.

"Your last day? What do you mean?" she asked.

"I quit! So did Buddy and Sally!" Rob told her.

"Why? You were such a great team!" Laura exclaimed.

"We have a terrible boss," Rob said.

"So, you just quit because you have a terrible boss?" Laura asked.

Rob nodded.

"What are you going to do? How are we going to keep the house? How are we going to support Ritchie?" Laura was now full of questions.

"Well honey, it won't be long until I find a few job," Rob replied.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Rob opened it and saw Buddy.

"Oh, hey, Buddy," Rob said.

"Hi, Rob!" Buddy replied, coming in.

"Oh Buddy, what brings you here?" Laura asked.

"I have some good news!" Buddy exclaimed.

"What's that?" Rob asked.

"I was taking Sally home and on the way, we just got offered a new job! You, me, and Sally! We're offered to write the Gregory Stewart Show and you're the head writer again! We're also being paid the same price we were before," Buddy exclaimed.

Rob was stunned.

"You're kidding! That's awesome," Rob said.

"That's wonderful!" Laura cried.

"When do we start?" Rob asked.

"Tomorrow morning," Buddy replied.

"Turns out, all three of us are still working together," Rob added.

"Oh Rob, there is something I need to tell you," Buddy said.

"What?" Rob asked.

"You and me are the only writers. Sally got hired as a secretary and I asked if she could be a writer like the rest of us. Gregory said no because he thinks women can't do a man's job," Buddy explained.

"Buddy, that's terrible!" Rob exclaimed.

"The only reason why she took the job is because, well, just like the rest of us, we don't have anything else to support our homes. That jerk took it all away," Buddy added.

"Mel didn't take it away, we walked out!" Rob told him.

"This job better be good," Buddy said.

At the new office….

Rob and Buddy were reading a contract from Gregory Stewart.

"This is so ridiculous!" Rob exclaimed.

"What is?" Buddy asked.

"That's ridiculous! Alan only expected us to get it done in five days!" Buddy replied.

"Especially if there is only two people writing the script," Rob added.

"I know, I miss Sally. That poor thing is probably sitting there without anything to do," Buddy said.

Just then, Sally came in the office, holding a tray with coffee cups.

"Hi gang," Sally said.

"Hey there, Sal," Rob said.

"Hey, Sal! How's the secretary life going for you?" Bubby asked.

"The secretary life is terrible! Gregory makes the secretaries serve coffee, and you guys have to turn in the script to us to give to Gregory because our producer is lazy! All he does is eat potato chips. There are also two more secretaries and they are so annoying. They made fun of me because I did a man's job," Sally told them.

"That's terrible!" Rob cried.

"On the bright side, I'm the one you have to turn in the script to, so we can still go over it before I turn it in and I get to serve the coffee so we can still chit chat," Sally added.

"That's great, Sal!" Rob exclaimed.

There was a knock on the door.

"Sally, you have to come back to the office! Gregory says so," one of the secretaries told her.

Sally sighed, not wanting to leave.

"I'll be right out, Amanda! Alright, fellas, have fun writing the script," Sally told them as she left the office.

"I have no idea how we're going to do this," Rob mumbled loud enough for Buddy to hear.

"Me neither. He's more demanding than Alan," Buddy added.

"What do you say, we get started?" Rob asked.

Buddy nodded and Rob started typing on the typewriter.

In the secretary office….

Within the first day of being a secretary, Sally was not enjoying it. She misses Rob and Buddy and she's stuck with a couple of young and annoying girls that were younger than she was. Luckily, the girls were out to lunch, so Sally had the office to herself. She was reading a magazine with her bare feet on the coffee table.

Just then, Gregory came into the office.

"Oh, I see only you're here," he said. He then noticed her feet on the table and he got mad. "Rogers! Who do you think you are to put your feet on that table! Is this what you do when you're at work?"

"Only on break," Sally replied.

"On break or not, I don't want to see that again so put your feet down, put on your shoes, and sit like you're at work!" he continued to yell.

Sally was intimidated and slowly put her feet off the desk.

"HURRY!" he hollered, and she did so and Greg left the office.

Rob and Buddy then came in the office.

"Hi, fellas, you missed him yelling at me," Sally said.

"Why was he yelling at you?" Rob asked.

"Because I was putting my feet up on the table!" Sally replied.

"He made a big deal out of it," Buddy said.

"I know! At the old office, Alan or Mel never cared if I did that!" Sally added.

Just then, the secretaries came back to the office.

"Oh, hello Sally," said the girl named Amanda.

"Who are the boys?" the other girl asked.

"Carrie, Amanda, I would like you to meet Rob and Buddy. They're my very good friends and the new writers," Sally introduced.

"Nice to meet you, tall one! You're so hot!" Amanda exclaimed.

"Oh, you mean me?" Rob asked.

"Oh, yes!" Amanda replied, putting her hand on his chest.

"Hey cutie, wanna go on a date sometime?" Carrie asked, putting her arm around Rob.

"I'm married," Rob replied.

"And he's happily married," Sally added.

"Are you married to him?" Amanda asked her.

"No, but he's married to someone else who will hunt you down if you go out with him," Sally threatened.

"What about the short one?" Carrie asked, turning to Buddy.

"Yeah, what about the short one?" Buddy asked.

"You're cute, too! Wanna go out with me?" she asked him.

"Why darling, I would love to!" Buddy replied.

"Buddy! You're married!" Sally exclaimed.

"Relax, Sal! Pickles is at her mother's again! Until she gets back, I can go out with women like I used to before getting married," Buddy said.

"You're married, too?" Amanda asked.

Buddy nodded.

"Listen girls, if you're eager to get married, I'd recommend you wait a little bit. You have a lot of time. I'm older and I'm still not married. One day, you'll find someone, but Rob and Buddy are not an option! They both have someone they really love," Sally explained.

"Have you ever had boyfriends?" Carrie asked.

"Yes, but I wasn't that serious with them," Sally replied.

"Can we at least go to dinner with you both?" Amanda begged.

"I'm available, but Rob's not," Buddy said.

At the house….

Laura was in the kitchen cooking dinner.

"Honey!" Rob called.

"I'm in here, darling!" Laura called back.

Rob came in the kitchen.

"Hi, honey!" Rob exclaimed and Laura replied by giving him a peck on the cheek.

"How was your new job?" she asked.

"Great!" Rob lied. It was not a good day.

"Really?" Laura asked.

"No!" Rob shouted.

"Why?" Laura asked.

"Buddy and I have to get a script done in two days, Sally got hired as a secretary and two other secretaries were flirting with me and Buddy," Rob explained.

"Did you tell them you were married?" Laura asked.

"Yes, they asked me and Buddy to go out to dinner with them. I said no, but Buddy said he would like to," Rob told her.

"But Buddy's also married!" Laura exclaimed.

"Well, his wife is out of town," Rob told her.

"Good news! We're having spaghetti and meatballs! You love them!" Laura exclaimed.

"You know me so well, honey," Rob said as the two kissed on the lips.

Later that night…..

"That was a long episode of Johnny Carson! I'm so tired," Laura complained.

"Honey, so am I," Rob replied, getting into bed.

Just then, the phone rang.

"Hm, who could be calling at this hour?" Laura asked. Rob shrugged, picking up the phone.

"Hello? What?! Are you crazy?! It's the middle of the night! I'm not going to come up with an idea that late at night!" Rob yelled angrily, putting the phone down.

"What's wrong?" Laura asked.

"My new boss just ordered me to come up with ideas for the script! That's what's wrong," Rob replied angrily.

"Now darling, calm down and get in bed!" Laura exclaimed.

A week later…..

Rob and Buddy were still at the new job and they were not happy. Rob is being pressured and hit on by two annoying secretaries, Buddy was in debt because he wasn't being paid as much as before and it wasn't enough for his home, and Sally was being verbally abused.

"I swear to God, Rob, if I spend another day in here, I'm gonna scream," Buddy complained.

Rob sighed.

"Me too, Buddy," he replied.

"Wanna know something? I thought we were going to get paid as much as we were before, but we're getting paid less! I'm in debt because of how much I'm currently being paid. It's not enough to support my wife and my home," Buddy said.

Rob was shocked to hear the news.

"Buddy, that's terrible!" he exclaimed.

"I know! Another terrible thing is that we're not even done with the script and Mr. Stewart is gonna scream at us!" Buddy exclaimed.

"Well, let's not just sit here and let's get to work," Rob said, pulling out the typewriter. "Boy, I miss Sally working with us," he added.

"Me too, I wonder how she's handling that secretary job," Buddy said.

"Didn't she say that she hated it the first day?" Rob asked while he was typing.

"Well, I'm sure her mind changed and what do you know! She might like it!" Buddy exclaimed.

In the secretary office…

"Why do you wear that stupid bow everyday?! You're getting too old!" Amanda teased.

Sally has started losing her patience with the two secretaries. They've been making fun of her non-stop ever since she came in.

"And what's with that outfit! It's so childish!" Carrie added.

Sally took out her headphones because she had them in, but they weren't on blast so she was able to hear the insults being thrown at her.

"Listen ladies, you need to knock off this behavior! You don't have to like what I wear, but keep it to yourself!" Sally told them.

"You still didn't answer my question!" Amanda exclaimed.

"What question?" Sally asked.

"Why do you wear the bow everyday?" Amanda asked.

"Well, I live while I'm young! Deal with it or I'm telling the boss," Sally replied.

(Time skip to lunch)

In the writer's office…

"I can't believe we're working over time because we couldn't finish the script! Why couldn't he just give us extra time!" Rob complained.

"I know! Alan never did that! He was very impatient, but not that impatient!" Buddy added.

Just then, Sally came in the office.

"Hey fellas," Sally said.

"Hey Sal, how has being secretary been?" Rob asked.

"Horrible! They both started insulting me! Today, I was made fun for what I was wearing! They said it was too childish because of my bow," Sally explained.

"How were the last few days?" Buddy asked.

"The same thing," Sally replied.

"Have you spoken up to them at all ever since they started to make fun of you?" Rob asked.

"Only today I did, but I didn't for the last few days. I tried ignoring them, but it was no use," Sally told him.

"This is why they're making fun of you! Maybe if they see that you have a voice and that you're not a doormat, they'll stop," Rob said.

"You know what, you're right, Rob. I will show them that I have a voice," Sally replied.

"Yeah, you're a good girl," Buddy jokingly added.

At the secretary office…

Rob, Buddy, and Sally were in the office just chilling because Sally did not want to be alone with the other girls. Just then, the girls came in the office.

"Ladies, if you have anymore insults, throw it out so it doesn't happen when we're working," Sally told them.

"Well, now you're so tough!" Carrie exclaimed.

"When we were throwing critiques, you said nothing but now you're speaking up! That's a manly move," Amanda added.

"Stop right there! Listen, you do not have to like Sally for her strong personality, but you better keep your mouth shut about it! You've completely upset her!" Rob yelled. He was right, Sally was upset.

"Yeah, that's right! How would you feel if Sally were the one to make fun of you girls for being brats!" Buddy added.

The girls were now offended.

"W-we're sorry," Amanda stuttered.

"Yeah! Well, you better be! Our old secretary would never make an insult like that!" Buddy exclaimed.

"Girls, the point is that we would like you to stop making fun of Sally for us. If you do, maybe we can go out to dinner sometime," Rob calmly told them.

"Okay, Robbie!" Amanda replied and turned to Sally. When Amanda saw Sally's upset face, she felt very guilty for putting her down. Carrie did, too.

"We're sorry for making fun of you, Sally," she apologized.

"We really are! It's just, you're different from other women and we couldn't adjust to it this past week," Carrie added.

This made Sally smile.

"Thank you!" she replied.

"Do you forgive us?" Amanda asked.

"Of course I do!" Sally exclaimed, hugging the girls.

Seeing this made Rob and Buddy happy that the girls stopped being mean to their friend.

"I'll get us some coffee and we can get to work," Carrie said as her and Amanda left the office.

Sally tuned to the boys.

"Thank you guys so much for standing up for me," Sally thanked them.

"No problem, Sal! I don't want to see you getting hurt by other women, whether it's physical or verbal," Rob said.

"We love you, Sal! Now that's over with, I've got a problem," Buddy added.

"What's your problem?" Sally asked.

"I'm in debt, that's what my problem is! Go ahead and laugh! It must be very funny that a friend is losing money because the amount I'm being paid is not enough to support my home ," Buddy told her.

"Buddy, that situation is not a laughing matter! Of course, I'm not going to laugh!" Sally exclaimed.

"Wanna know another problem? I've been getting calls in the middle of the night from Greg asking questions about the script!" Rob exclaimed.

"Why doesn't he call me?" Buddy asked, offended.

"I guess it's because I'm the head writer," Rob said.

"That makes sense," Sally said.

"Let's just call Mel and see if he wants us back," Rob told everyone as he dialed Mel's office number.

Phone convo…

 _Rob: Hello? Mel?_

 _Mel: Rob! What brings you on the phone with me?_

 _Rob: Mel, I just got a new job and it's the worst!_

 _Mel: Oh?_

 _Rob: There are two young secretaries who are trying to flirt with me and I'm getting calls in the middle of the night from my new boss about the script._

 _Mel: Well, that's terrible!_

 _Rob: I know, the two secretaries are being mean to Sally and did I tell you that she is now a secretary?_

 _Mel: No! Gregory Stewart is a terrible person!_

 _Rob: Also, we're getting paid less and Buddy can't afford to pay for his home anymore!_

 _Mel: Wow._

 _Rob: The reason why I called is because we want you to hire us back!_

 _Mel: So you want me to hire you back? Well, I don't know! We hired some new writers and we're testing them at the moment!_

 _Alan: MEL! BRING THE OLD WRITERS BACK! THESE NEW WRITERS ARE TERRIBLE AT WRITING COMEDY!_

Mel: Well Rob, you're welcome back!

 _Rob: Well, what about Buddy and Sally?_

 _Mel: Tell Sally she can come back too, but not Buddy!_

 _Rob: Mel! Buddy is in debt! You can't do this to him!_

 _Buddy: Yeah, I'll insult you even more if you don't give me the job back! I'll even call you in the middle of the night and do it._

 _Mel: Ugh, fine! I'll give him the job back only because he's in debt and he'll throw less insults!_

 _Rob: Thank you, Mel! We'll be back once we quit the other job!_

Rob hung up the phone.

"So, we have our old jobs back?" Sally asked.

"Yes, but now we have leave this job," Rob replied.

"Great! Now I don't have to be a secretary stuck with annoying twenty year olds!" Sally cheered.

"Aren't they a little too young to get a job at twenty? Have they finished college?" Buddy asked.

Sally glared at him in annoyance.

"How am I supposed to know!" Sally exclaimed.

Back at the writer's office…..

"Aren't we going to get typing?" Rob asked.

"We're quitting, remember?" Buddy told him.

"That's right," Rob replied.

Just then, Greg came in the office.

"Rob! Buddy! I need my script! It's been over three days and I need it now!" he yelled.

"You know what, Greg! We have something to tell you," Rob said.

"What?" Greg asked and Buddy got in his face like how he would get in Mel's face.

"We're quitting! We can't stand to obey this stupid contract!" he exclaimed.

"I'm getting calls in the middle of the night from you and because of that, I can't sleep anymore!" Rob added.

"You don't act like it," Sally said.

"I drank two cups of coffee this morning," Rob told her.

"Rogers, you're supposed to be in the secretary office!" Greg yelled.

"Guess what? I quit as secretary! I was harassed by the other girls!" Sally exclaimed.

"Wait, he calls you by your surname?" Buddy asked.

"Vander and Wilson harassed you? I'm going to have a talk with them," Greg said.

"Who are Vander and Wilson?" Rob asked.

"I think it's the surnames of the two secretaries," Sally told him.

"Listen, Mr. Stewart, I don't think we would want to work with you anymore. We want to go back to Alan Brady," Rob said.

"If that's what you want, I'll let Alan Brady know," Greg replied.

"He asked for us back," Rob added.

"Whatever!" Greg exclaimed, walking out of the office.

The writers cheered for joy.

"We're going back to our old office!" Buddy exclaimed.

"You know, the best part about all this was that we were all in this together," Sally said.

"You're right, Sal. We were in this together!" Rob exclaimed.

They got into a group hug and they were all laughing.

At the house….

Laura was disciplining Ritchie for refusing to read when the teacher told him to at school.

"Now Ritchie, you're supposed to obey your teacher just like you're supposed to obey me and your father when we tell you to go to bed," Laura told him.

Just then, Rob came him with a big smile on his face.

"Hello, darling! You look so happy tonight!" Laura exclaimed kissing him.

"Hi, honey! I have good news! I got my old job back!" Rob replied.

"You did? Rob, that's so exciting! When do you go back?" she asked in response.

"I go back tomorrow! Alan is firing some new writers he hired when we were gone because they ended up being terrible writers," Rob explained.

"I'm so happy for you!" Laura cried, hugging him.

"What was your old job, Daddy?" Ritchie asked.

Laura turned to Ritchie.

"Ritchie, if you go brush your teeth, I'll tell you happened with Daddy," she told him. Ritchie ran to the bathroom and Rob and Laura let go of the hug.

Back at the old office…

"Gee, it feels great to be here again!" Buddy exclaimed.

"I miss being in the same room as you two!" Sally added.

"It feels great not having to be in 's office anymore," Rob said.

Just then, Mel came in the office.

"Welcome back, Rob, Sally, and Buddy!" he exclaimed.

"Wow, he said my name! That's very rare," Buddy said.

"We missed you too, Mel! What's up?" Rob asked.

"I would like you to rewrite this script the other writers wrote," Mel replied.

Rob took a look at the script.

"Well, the grammar is perfect! What do I need to fix?" Rob asked.

"Make the script funny! The other writers didn't make it funny and that's why Alan fired them," Mel explained.

"Why didn't you check the script first like you would do with us?" Sally asked.

"I was in a rush to leave that day they had to turn it in so I told them to just turn it in straight to Alan," Mel told her.

"You know, Curly, I actually missed you! Look forward to more insults!" Buddy exclaimed.

Mel glared at him and left the office.

"Alright fellas, how should we start?" Sally asked.

"Alan enters the room and says, 'Good evening, folks! It's so nice to be in a cool place like this! It's been too hot outside lately,' and then we can go from here," Buddy suggested.

Rob and Sally gave him a weird look, but Sally began typing as Rob started giving out suggestions.

The writers were now back to normal! Three people with a wonderful friendship working in an office together again after a week of hell with the other job.

 **\- I hope you guys enjoyed my second collab with Fiddlegirl! This story was just as exciting as the last one! It's always fun to work with her! We have a third one coming up so stay tuned! Also if you haven't checked out our first collab, 'You're Welcome Here, Sally Rogers', you really should! Anyways, that's it for now and I will see you guys later! Peace out!**

 **-oldhollywoodbaby**


End file.
